urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:toiletpaper278 ...it was in the back STEFFY 2008-09-03T21:04:27Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:toiletpaper278:88436 2008-09-03T21:04:27Z 2008-09-03T21:04:27Z Hey everyone,<br /><br />after writing (omg, there's a bones ad on the right.&nbsp; PREMIRE&nbsp;TONIGHT!) in this LJ for... like four years now, i'm retiring it.<br />toiletpaper is totally 7th grade.<br />I have started a new journal, and you should all add it to your friends page RIGHT&nbsp;NOW.<br /><span class='ljuser ljuser-name_everyone_listen' lj:user='everyone_listen' style='white-space: nowrap;'><a href='http://everyone-listen.livejournal.com/profile'><img src='http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif' alt='[info]' width='17' height='17' style='vertical-align: bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;' /></a><a href='http://everyone-listen.livejournal.com/'><b>everyone_listen</b></a></span>&nbsp;<br />that's it.<br />its from an angels and airwaves lyrics<br />&quot;everyone, everyone will listen&quot;<br /><br />Thanks,<br /><br />Steph.<br /><br /> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:toiletpaper278:88282 2008-09-02T18:23:41Z 2008-09-02T18:23:41Z my stereo plays songs that i dont hear<br />instead your last words fill my brain<br />as i lay across this bed<br />they run around my head<br />threatening to push me off the edge<br /><br />i still i still i still i cant believe<br />how you could just drop me on my knees<br />in my most crucial time of need<br />Who are you now?<br />Why did you lie to me?<br /><br />Twenty seven weeks we went on strong<br />or at least i did my part<br />you oh you just went along<br />for a ride in my car with my money<br />and you wasted my time urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:toiletpaper278:87980 2008-09-01T12:33:55Z 2008-09-01T12:33:55Z weirdest thing happened this morning.<br />for the past two weeksish i've been dreaming of new neighbors moving in.<br />mostly, they've been moving in in the white house next door, but there have been other dreams where they are in other houses.<br />today i woke up and mom was on the phone.<br />apparently, the people in the yellow house have found a new house, and want to put their house on the market.<br />creepy right? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:toiletpaper278:87765 2008-08-30T01:03:21Z 2008-08-30T01:03:21Z i had more fun today than i had had in a while.<br />first, i spent more time wandering the halls than in class.<br />then, shay brit and alyssa came over.<br />we watched stick it.<br />we walked to arthurs.<br />i ate.<br />we went back to my house.<br />we read our "i remember..."s.<br />we brought out the laptop and watched demetri martin.<br />we saw a fucking hot air balloon and had this conversation with the passengers:<br />"HEY!"<br />"HI!"<br />"WHERE YOU FROM!?"<br />"DUNNO!"<br />"WHERE YOU GOING!?"<br />"DUNNO!"<br />"GOOD LUCK!"<br />we went inside because of bugs.<br />we looked at fails in the kitchen.<br />alyssa left.<br />we watched the gymnastics fail.<br />my computer failed.<br />shay and brit left.<br /><br /><br />so much fun. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:toiletpaper278:87473 2008-08-28T23:45:19Z 2008-08-28T23:45:19Z It could have been like any<br />other night that week<br />just another second place finish<br />just another meaningless smile<br />to be filled with tears at home.<br />Second place, better than most<br />but still not the best.<br />Tables were turned, this was it<br />as the saying goes, now or never.<br />A few tricky moves, and another<br />flashy grin. Flip and stick.<br /><br />It could have been like any<br />other night that week<br />but instead it ended in ecstasy.<br /><br /><br /><br />too obvious the meaning/subject? :P<br />dunno if "ecstasy" is the word i really want to use...<br />but.. that's they best i could think of.<br />probably will change later. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:toiletpaper278:87042 2008-08-26T23:35:29Z 2008-08-26T23:35:29Z School starts in 12 hours.<br />and we have like, nine months until we're done.<br />can you believe it?<br />this will be out thirteenth consecutive year of education.<br />and then we're done.<br />college isnt required by law...<br />so, those of us going further are just bettering themselves at their own cost.<br />i cant believe that we'll be the next ones in the gym getting our diplomas.<br />its kinda ridiculous.<br /><br />following that note, i'll be eighteen in six months.<br />i can do what i want in six months, and not have consequences.<br />well, legal things.<br />i could get addicted to cigarettes.<br />(i wont i promise)<br />i could get any tattoo or piercing i wanted.<br />(i might)<br />no one can tell me otherwise.<br />downside?<br />legally tried as an adult in court... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:toiletpaper278:86965 2008-08-24T01:45:01Z 2008-08-24T01:45:01Z when i was just a little younger<br />i colored outside the lines<br />i didnt want to be perfect<br />i didnt want to be the same<br /><br />outside the lines was a <br />magical place belonging to<br />me and the others who understand<br />how life really is and<br />how it really is seen<br /><br />outside the lines is an<br />adventurous place where nonfollowers<br />find mystery and in time<br />themselves<br /><br />-----------------<br /><br />sit around all day<br />wasting time<br />you breathe<br />but do you really live?<br /><br />hours in front of a screen<br />seeing things hearing things<br />but not truly feeling things<br />get off your ass<br />and take a chance.<br /><br />------------------<br /><br />life is short, so am i<br />dont get down on yourself<br />go out and party<br />let loose have some fun<br />give people a new side of you<br />three new adjectives<br />me? short, sarcastic, strange<br />and i wouldnt change it <br />for the world urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:toiletpaper278:86558 2008-08-23T19:46:25Z 2008-08-23T19:46:25Z all ripped up<br />with nowhere to go<br />dont look up<br />you're already home<br /><br />a sleepy little town<br />awoken with a sudden sound<br />the black sheep is<br />up in flames again<br /><br />rebel turned runaway<br />with one more bang<br />doesnt turn for goodbye<br /><br />-------------------------<br /><br />ive taken thousands of pictures<br />created hundreds of memories<br />with a shitty litte camera<br />and these beady little eyes<br />dont ever walk away<br />dont ever say goodbye<br />never hold my hand<br />without intent to stay urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:toiletpaper278:86368 2008-08-22T20:05:44Z 2008-08-22T20:05:44Z specks of your golden hair<br />pepper my pillow<br />and the smell of aftershave<br />lingers within the sheets<br />memories float around<br />in front of my eyes<br />just within my grasp<br /><br />I always wished for this<br />for us to be together<br /><br />time passes in a blink of an eye<br />and soon, we're fighting<br />more and more than i've seen before<br />i am wishing for this to stop<br /><br />in the end<br />i'll remember everything you said urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:toiletpaper278:86231 2008-08-21T03:20:28Z 2008-08-21T03:20:28Z so, olympics dominate my life right now.<br />and, in honor of them, i've changed my icon to my two favorite members of Team USA.<br />Shawn Johnson (gymnastics) and Michael Phelps (swimming [duh!])<br />i would also like to thank Verizon Fios for being kickass and having all the olympic events on demand, so i can watch all the competition when ever i want.<br />it took me five times to spell competition correctly.<br /><br />school starts in six days.<br />i was going to crash the frosh dance today.<br />instead, i had a dance party at forever 21 with katelyn and monica for, no lie, two and a half hours.<br />we wore silly outfits and i think all the employees think we're insane.<br /><br />i'm going away to old orchard beach tomorrow until monday.<br />i wanna get one of those "OOB" bumper stickers.<br />real one, not facebook.<br />when i get back, nicki and i are having a huge shopping spree for school shit.<br />there's this sweatshirt i really want.<br />and i'm gonna go get it, bitches.<br /><br />shit, i dont know what i'm going to do for college.<br />(total mood switch here)<br />i thought i had it all figured out, but now that its upon me...<br />i'm feeling so much pressure, and i dont like it.<br />there's only two schools so far that i know i'm applying to.<br />there are things about both that turn me off.<br />and you cant just apply to two.<br />five is a good number.<br />i re did the college board thing, and it gave me thiry five.<br />mom and i will have to go over them.<br />i also need to take the ACTs cuz my SATs blow.<br />hmmmm....<br /><br />i played tennis with my brother at melican yesterday.<br />for like....nearly two hours.<br />he had me running all over for the ball.<br />(that's what she said? possibly.. if you try to make it work)<br />(there we go... that last one works)<br />and my legs are fucking killing me.<br />(YES PERFECT)<br />(gotta love sexual innuendos)<br />SPELLED THAT RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY<br />anyways, immaturity aside...<br />i need to stretch. <br />i complained of ass cramps nine times today.<br />they really hurt.<br /><br />okay, i'm gonna go steal more olympic icons to do nothing with.<br />maybe try to work on my Bones fanfic.<br />or maybe sleep.<br />probably not.<br />peace out. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:toiletpaper278:85772 2008-08-17T23:32:53Z 2008-08-17T23:32:53Z <img src="http://f3.yahoofs.com/ymg/ept_sports_oly_experts__3/ept_sports_oly_experts-183449113-1218999731.jpg?ym0mg3_CqgZJulty"><br /><br />shit, could this kid get any better? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:toiletpaper278:85716 2008-08-17T22:24:56Z 2008-08-17T22:24:56Z we're all just small town kids<br />with big city bravado<br />sitting at the edge of summer<br />between adolescence and the rest of our live<br />We talk it all up, like we have no fear<br />That's all it is, is talk<br /><br />All we've known is ice cream shops<br />and long autumn walks<br />trading in our baseball caps and big dreams<br />for laptops and lost hopes<br /><br />Had the same friends since kindergarten<br />Next thing you know, you're spread across the country<br />Roommates and part time jobs<br />occupy your social life leaving<br />no room for those who love you<br /><br />All we've known is ice cream shops<br />and long autumn walks<br />trading in our baseball caps and big dreams<br />for laptops and lost hopes<br /><br />And in ten years time<br />the cycle of suburban life<br />will repeat its course bringing<br />your bouncing baby boys and <br />pretty little girls into the world<br />you used to love<br /><br />All we've known is ice cream shops<br />and long autumn walks<br />trading in our baseball caps and big dreams<br />for laptops and lost hopes urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:toiletpaper278:85494 2008-08-17T01:12:35Z 2008-08-17T01:13:37Z Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan<br />oh shit the TV's broken<br />Now i cant watch the hills<br />maybe i should take some pills<br /><br />like amy winehouse<br />kinda looks like mickey mouse<br />Disney is so fucked up<br />like brittney's twentyfourhour nup-<br />tials<br /><br />JT bringin sexy back<br />Kim Kardashian in the sack<br />Bush hates black people<br />Kanye told all the people<br /><br />Fitty was shot at<br />all the girls think they're fat<br />Brangelina had another baby<br />Madonna wants one too<br /><br />Jamie Lynn had a kid<br />Just like her sister did<br />But this time she was seventeen<br />horray for teenage pregnancy<br /><br />This is the Hollywood that we know<br />and it ain't just another show<br />Girls look up to this <br />Plastic surgery and fake tits<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />okay, i'm gonna cut it off there, but it could go on forever. and i'll probably write more verses later, since who doesnt like tearing celebrities down? <br /><br /><br />yeah, okay, this will definitely have more to come :P urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:toiletpaper278:85028 2008-08-16T06:40:10Z 2008-08-16T06:40:10Z testing, testing<br />just testing the air<br />make sure its safe to <br />breathe once more.<br /><br />your lies fill me up<br />choke me to tears<br />lack of oxygen mixed<br />with fear and confusion<br />unsightly thoughts cross<br />my mind.<br /><br />deep breaths and counting<br />numbers are the only things<br />that'll calm me now.<br />all it used to take was<br />one look at your face. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:toiletpaper278:84804 2008-08-16T06:03:25Z 2008-08-16T06:06:54Z 4 AM is such a lonely time<br />half the world asleep<br />the other half too far to reach<br />i sit on the couch alone<br />the fleas nipping at my feet<br />wishing for a friend, but instead<br />i close myself away and write<br />a poem or seven a day<br />my journal screams the toils<br />of my imagined life<br />with made up friends and pretend <br />plots that my character tries<br />to push through like all the <br />other characters of the world<br />4 AM is such a lonely time<br />a time for reminiscent music<br />a time for indie movie shorts<br />a time for made to be wasted.<br /><br />finished at 2AM, after watching numerous music videos (coldplay, leona lewis, U2, paramore, whitney houston, anna nalick) and watching "house hunting" which proved to be a strange film.<br /><br /><br />OMFG the other day, i was driving to work, and it was raining, and there was this kid walking down the street bobbing his head funny and listening to music. i was like "that's a strange kid" guess who it was. <br /><br />richard joseph. <br />:P urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:toiletpaper278:84703 2008-08-07T03:28:40Z 2008-08-07T03:28:40Z thousands of blank pages<br />recount our lackluster romance<br />eyes wide with fear and sadness<br />as you fade with the summer light.<br /><br />winter rolls upon us<br />with intent to stay for good<br />my hazy eyes gaze out<br />the frost bitten window<br />nothing to keep me warm<br /><br />dark basements and ripped couches<br />define my life<br />light flickers across the room<br />revealing nothing to keep me warm. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:toiletpaper278:84291 2008-08-05T01:16:18Z 2008-08-05T01:16:18Z throwing stones down <br />old dirt road<br />hoping the dust that<br />kicks up will show you<br />to me once again.<br /><br />faded jeans and <br />baseball caps turned<br />to the side. pictures <br />blowing in the wind, <br />leaving me with<br />nothing of you.<br /><br /><br />yes? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:toiletpaper278:84065 2008-08-04T03:38:27Z 2008-08-04T03:38:27Z so.<br />postsecret was updated today.<br />and after, i wasnt satisfied.<br />i wanted more.<br />so i went to "paramore secrets"<br />(i know, get a life)<br />and then onto "FBR secrets"<br />(they make me laugh)<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />oh, and btw, i always wanna spell laugh laff. since i was like seven. and i always do it, then backspace that shit up, and type it right.<br /><br /><br />damn. summer's getting a bit boring, what with all this working and shit. school starts in 23 days, mark your calendars.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />most badass year man, seniors '09! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:toiletpaper278:83903 2008-08-03T04:14:25Z 2008-08-03T04:14:25Z so many songs we<br />never played<br />so many feelings<br />we never shared<br />so many times<br />were it could have been<br /><br />lets take a break<br />from the lives we lead<br />take a chance on<br />what could have been<br /><br />what is there to fear?<br />a weekend romance<br />that couldnt get off <br />the ground<br />at least we know<br />what could have been.<br /><br /><br /><br />the reflections of my illusions<br />ripple in my mind; a mirror<br />of a memory floats through<br />empty space. a time has <br />passed where looking back<br />may have been useful<br />but now is no time for<br />reminiscing. now is only the <br />time for "advancing our futures"<br />and "bettering ourselves".<br />i want to live in the now, not <br />the future, not the past.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />my first boyfriend<br />turned into the moon.<br />no matter where i am,<br />he is there to lighten<br />my night. and when i try<br />to run as far as i can,<br />he rises up to stop me<br />in my tracks with beauty <br />and serenity. he will <br />always be there, even <br />when i cannot see.<br /><br /><br />dont really like that one. posting it anyways :/<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />the bombs go off<br />all through the night<br />she sits in the kitchen<br />and proudly makes her stand<br />she will not be one<br />to die in vain.<br /><br />before going to bed<br />she kisses her son goodnight<br />as he waits all night<br />for the dawn that never came<br /><br /><br /><br />kinda.. thinking... holocausty for that one... you know? <br /><br /><br />no one approaches rock bottom<br />we crash and hit and burn<br />there's no dainty landing<br />but more of a skid that leaves a scar<br />and from all the way down there<br />it seems impossible to rise again<br />so much pressure from all directions<br />just stand.<br /><br /><br />last line... dunno...? and i dont think its done, i just cant think of anymore for this idea.<br /><br /><br />OMG so like how has you been? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:toiletpaper278:83582 2008-07-27T21:28:37Z 2008-07-27T21:28:37Z so, mumford was a pretty good movie. kinda predictable, but good overall.<br /><br />i saw step brothers today. funniest fucking thing ever. so funny. number two only to superbad.<br /><br />i cant wait to see the house bunny, pineapple express, and yes man (zooey's in it!)<br /><br />this fall is gonna be a good movie fall.<br /><br />HSM3 and i guess twilight and HARRY FUCKING POTTER!<br /><br />so great.<br /><br />i almost wish is was october.<br /><br />i watched the hannah montana movie last night. three times. in a row. i got dizzy every time it was a 3D glasses time, because i never stole the glasses from work.. or bothered to get them at walmart.<br /><br />oh welllll urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:toiletpaper278:83417 2008-07-27T05:55:23Z 2008-07-27T05:55:23Z i got a miley cyrus mood theme :) :) :) :) :)<br /><br /><br />and i'm watching the first movie zooey deschanel was ever in. mumford.<br /><br />the main character in the movie plays emily deschanel's older brother in bones.<br /><br />i would kill to meet/work with the deschanel sisters.<br /><br />L00k M1L3Y CYRU5 5TR1PP1NG!! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:toiletpaper278:83097 2008-07-26T03:02:57Z 2008-07-26T03:02:57Z Here we go<br />Inside the teenage<br />Rock and roll circus<br />conflicting with<br />parents, police, ourselves<br />trying desperately to<br />find a way out<br />all it takes is time<br />but we are too impatient<br /><br />we are invincible<br />we are bored<br />we are never ending<br />we are lazy<br />you'll never understand us<br />and honestly, we dont either<br />but we'll keep pushing through<br /><br />watching us fail is almost addicting<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />you like? i may have more to come.<br /><br />OH UPDATE!! we didnt get rid of the turtle. here's the story. mom and mikey brought it to the pond we originally rescued it from, and they let him swim around, but he kept coming back and they were like "shooooo!" and he started to nibble on a lillypad, and then this small pizza sized snapping turtle swam near/under him, so mikey freaked, scooped him back up, and now he's back in the bedroom.<br /><br />and my new obsession with katy perry is reaching hannah montana heights. and mikey always gets katy perry and kate nash confused. so he'll say "is this 'i kissed a girl' girl? or 'dickhead' girl?" and i laugh every time.<br /><br /><br /><br />just for the record:<br />life has been worse<br />but tonight it feels <br />like all the air<br />has been sucked from the world<br />and we're just fish out of water<br />gasping for a fresh face<br /><br />life is just a race<br />we'll reach the end at <br />different times<br />but we all know its coming<br />whether it be tomorrow<br />or in sixty years<br />the spontaneity of nature <br /><br /><br /><br /><br />there had better be<br />an epic adventure <br />tonight, because<br />you dragged me thiry<br />miles from home<br />just to show me a <br />beautiful sunset<br />dont get me wrong<br />i love your little<br />lovely drives<br />but i'm sick of<br />just turning around<br />and going back<br /><br /><br />dunno what the fuck that's about.<br /><br /><br /><br />scream my lungs out<br />just to try to get to you<br />you can hardly hear me<br />as though i'm whispering <br />from a mile away<br /><br />you'll never see what's wrong<br />you'll never see you have a problem<br />as your friends and family <br />just have to sit back<br />and watch you slowly die<br />one smoke at a time<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />wow... i've been writing a shit load lately.<br />dont expect this much in the next week. i have to work at least six hours everyday. NINE HOURS ONE DAY!! i'll be so tired, but i'll be rolling in the $9.31/hr dough :P urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:toiletpaper278:82699 2008-07-25T23:11:25Z 2008-07-25T23:11:25Z OH<br />we put the turtle in the river we found him at :(<br />so sad. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:toiletpaper278:82652 2008-07-25T23:07:09Z 2008-07-25T23:07:09Z so. i have this headache. and it wont seem to go away.<br />i really need to get better glasses. or at least find my old ones<br />nicki left her pillow here. i'm using it as a foot rest.<br />i fell asleep instantly last night. <br />it felt so good.<br />this post is a waste.<br />oh well, what are ya gonna do?<br />relient k, oct 16, palladium. <br />its happening.<br />you know what else i really need?<br />to see a good movie, or read a good book.<br />problem is: lack of money.<br />i guess that's what you get for needing a college education.<br />i wish i'd win the lottery. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:toiletpaper278:82300 2008-07-25T04:17:19Z 2008-07-25T04:17:19Z Here I am again<br />Ready for the fight<br />Never backing down<br />Never turning 'round<br /><br />Just lemme get<br />A little bit angrier<br />Give me a reason<br />To throw my punches<br />There's no need to waste 'em<br /><br />Bruised and cold<br />I'll still fight on<br />Fight to keep living<br />Fight to keep dying<br /><br /><br /><br />so tired.. now i'm just crapping out what's in my head.<br /><br /><br />He blinks his eyes awake<br />As a blinding sunlight pushes<br />Past the glass, and through the blinds<br />Yawn, stretch, shake, its a daily routine<br />That'd he'd kill to break<br /><br />He stares at her, never knowing<br />What exactly she thinks<br />His days overlap, without much change<br />He easily forgets the date<br />And wishes for a different path<br /><br />Overlooking the ocean, there lies a cliff<br />He sits alone every afternoon<br />Tossing pebbles into the blue turmoil below<br />Just once, he hopes, <br />He could break from the mold<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />?